Jane’s noodle eye
(Jane eating instant noodles in JingShan park: Beijing, China)
You may think it’s the acme of cruelty to include this shot of my auntie Jane. She’s a good sport, (thankfully, since there are so many wonderful gaffes to choose from) and this is one of the real treasures. To give some backstory, Jane and my mum are big fans of forgoing lunch to fit in more sightseeing. I am certainly unused to this treatment and decided to make a fuss about it each day at around 2pm. This was the day that we spent mostly in the Forbidden City and we entered the park in the mid afternoon. Even after munching some small titbits along the way, I was ravenous to the point of fractiousness.
In China, as often in Europe, restaurants close in the mid afternoon between lunch and dinner. Unfortunately we were caught in this dead time and we were forced to seek sustenance in a park shop. It sold snacks, ice lollies, ceramic and marble figurines as well as general souvenirs. Up on the top shelf, the best stuff – pot noodles. Of course they’re not good for you and sometimes not even tasty, but that day it was like looking upon the most wondrous purple tubs in the world. I felt like Carter opening Tutankhamen’s tomb and beholding the marvels within. I was hungry. I insisted on noodles and the others followed suit. A lady appeared to relieve us of our money and to supply an enormous hot flask of water to top up our noodles.
There were the obligatory three packets inside the tub, atop the nest of noodles; one of dried fragments of vegetables, one of powder flavouring and the final optional sauce. I usually avoid adding all the sauce as it is invariably incredibly spicy, but even after a warning, Jane squeezed most of her sachet inside. She commented on the spice almost immediately, but I imagine it was more invigorating than inedible. The reason she is eating with her eyes pressed tightly shut is that upon slurping her hot noodles in a fine way, one flicked the spicy sauce right into her eye. This was not funny. She was initially blinded, of course and the stinging took several minutes to subside. My mum was busy pouring half a bottle of water over Jane’s face in an attempt to flush out the residual spiciness that she had not already washed away with watery eyes. Eventually she could see again, albeit with a very bloodshot eye. But, true to her stoical nature, she continued eating the noodles, checking she had hold of some on her folding fork, shutting her eyes and hoping for the best – she’s an inspiration. Far from tragic, as I took this photograph, the three of us were laughing so hard that I began to tear a little.
– Today Rosie is organising her life in Glasgow, Scotland –
Oh I remember it so well. See what torture you put us through, although I think we beat you for stamina. We also spent a fair amount of time looking gormless so that you would sort everything out – worked a treat. First time I’ve had a holiday without any responsibility.