Everything everything?
(Sign for the Museum of Everything: London, UK)
With some of these travelling experiences, it is difficult to judge how to begin retelling the turn of events, or how to accurately represent the encounter in the best light. The Museum of Everything (aside from being quite a claim) is just one of these practically indescribably complex places, but I shall endeavour to provide a decent portrayal of it for you.
Firstly, I am as disappointed as you will be at the lack of images from the museum – this was the best I could do given that in every room there was a clear sign reading either;
NO PHOTOGRAPHS
PHOTOGRAPHS = DEATH
Or
NO PHOTOGRAPHS
PHOTOGRAPHS = £1000 FINE
Amusing, yet also somewhat effective. In fact, I spent most of my time either knowingly grinning to myself, attempting to suppress giggles, or in silent shock. The collection being exhibited at present belongs to Sir Peter Blake, the pop artist responsible for iconic Beatles album art. He’s also responsible for the assault on my eyes during my time in the museum – though that is not a negative comment as I was drinking in every piece with a special appreciation. I will now relate a description of some of the items I was most taken with.
A corridor awaits every visitor at the entrance, and along it are photographs of all manner of Victorian ‘circus freaks’, the fully tattooed and the Tom Thumbs, Siamese twins and bearded ladies of yesteryear. There was a shell grotto – a corner of the museum entirely decorated with seashells of all colours and types, and within the grotto itself, shelf upon shelf of seashell giftware; boxes, animals, figures of Christ, you get the idea. I paused awhile here, soaking up the tired glamour of seaside resort ephemera before moving on to see ancient puppets, strange pin up girl embroideries, circus sideshow signs and a miniature working fairground. Adding to the wildness of the exhibition is the chipped paint on the woodwork, chills from the old warped skylights and very personal notation next to each item.
Part of the appeal of the place was the reverence displayed by almost every other visitor. No one laughed, smiled or seemed to display any emotion, merely a simple curiosity. I was close to paroxysms of morbid hilarity when I reached the taxidermy dioramas on the first floor. I can, with complete certainty claim that I have never seen anything of their like in my life. My particular favourite* set were of four glass cases containing two stuffed squirrels apiece. They played out a storyboard of a boxing match and each squirrel was sporting leggings and a pair of gloves. In the first, they were holding their gloves together to begin the bout and in the last, one lay bloodied on the straw lined floor of the box.You can imagine the scenes in between. It gives grotesque a new meaning. Other boxes held all manner of oddities; more freakish animals with extra or missing limbs or simply another story or rhyme using stuffed creatures (The House that Jack Built and Death of Cock Robin, for instance). It was all fascinatingly horrid.
The hoarder in me was completely besotted and reveled in the craziness of it all, but there was a tiny part of me that wondered where he kept all these things and if he liked them or felt compelled by some fantastical reason to collect. I recovered from my astonishment by sitting in the tiny, chilly room that functions as shop and miniature café and slurping on hot tea in a mismatched cup and saucer. The experience was complete, wholly strange and eye opening and I loved it. I’d recommend it to anyone with an open mind, a strong stomach and an hour to spend at Primrose Hill. I hope that although the picture wasn’t terribly inspiring, that my account was illuminating enough to forgo the need to provide one.
* I say favourite, but possibly I mean that they were the most amazing or incredible. Or maybe most bizarre.
– Today Rosie is going out for yum cha (dim sum) and meeting people for London farewells, UK –
wow, yum cha! the old China town or Bayswater?
I don’t know yet! Grace talked about a new place – very exciting! I’ll post it in the next installment!